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Motherhood winds us up, makes us high strung, and convinces us that there is somehow One Right Way to do things. We worry if we don’t jump on that bandwagon it’s gonna ride off and we’ll be left raising our kids in the ditch.
We have access to 25,565,366 million opinions from mothers, experts, bloggers, and talkative women at Wal-Mart so we file it all away in order to access it during times of crisis. We want to do everything right and we want to look put together doing it.
And that’s all fine and well and good.
Until it isn’t.
Until we get so caught up in Streams of Thinking and Ways of Doing Things and we worry until we can’t make heads or tails of what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. We can’t just forget about what anyone else thinks and figure out if what we are doing is okay with us. Right for our family. Or, basically, if it’s even working.
You know you’re making good choices if what you are doing bears good fruit. It’s that simple. Now, I’m not saying to give up after one go, but if you’ve been consistently doing something for a while and you don’t like how things are going… you can stop.
Mama, if you are feeling like your home is all out of whack and you are completely overwhelmed and can’t tell if anything you are doing is working… I’ve got something to tell you.
If it isn’t working… you don’t have to keep doing it.
You don’t have to keep breastfeeding if you’re up pumping 15 times a day plus before and after every feed and your baby isn’t gaining weight and you are so exhausted you want to Eat Pie and Die.
You don’t have to keep nursing on demand if your baby wants to feed every 25 minutes and will never sleep except in your lap and you never have time to eat or shower.
You don’t have to keep nursing on a schedule if you are losing milk and going nuts and the baby is starving.
You don’t have to stop saying “no” to your kids until you’re barely able to string a sentence together since you’re so busy trying to find a positive way to put a spin on not hitting sissy with a broom handle.
You don’t have to keep co-sleeping if no one is actually sleeping and your husband has moved into the living room.
Or, you don’t have to keep putting the baby to bed in his crib if you’d prefer him in the bed with you and stuff what anyone else says, just do what helps the baby sleep.